Trouble I Have Seen
by Kamari Turen
Summary: Twenty years after All-Stars, Dawn stands as the last living member of the Total Drama cast. Join her as she reflects on the events that led the others to their downfall. AU. Contains very little dialogue, just so you're aware. Rated M for violence, drug use, character death, language, and dark, mature themes.
1. Prologue

It is a terrible thing to lose ones friends. It is even more terrible to be the last member of a group to die. No one knows this better than Dawn Strazinski. Dawn is sole surviving contestant from Total Drama, the once popular game show that subjected its participants to unbearable tortures for the chance to win one million dollars. How Dawn came to be the sole survivor is a mystery even she does not understand. She has spent countless days and nights searching for an answer to that very question, but she has found no answers. And, in the end, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that Dawn is still here and her friends are not.

It has been twenty years since since Total Drama All-Stars ended and in that time things have gone from bad to worse at every turn. All-Stars was the final season of the TD franchise, though it wasn't supposed to be. There had been another season in the works, one that promised to introduce a whole new cast, but the show had been abruptly canceled for no apparent reason. After that, host Chris McLean went off the deep end and the former contestants were left to try and return to their normal lives. It hadn't been easy, but most of them had managed, at first. Some, like Mike and Zoey found solace in each other. Others, like B and Gwen and Dawn herself, had been relieved to put the fame behind them. But some, like Courtney, Heather, Alejandro, and Scott hadn't been so easily subdued, and it was they who started the trouble.

Dawn, of course, had tried to stop them and she hadn't been alone. Gwen, B, Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Bridgette, Geoff, D.J., Trent, LeShawna, Harold, and Beth had helped her. Eventually Izzy, Duncan, Sam, Brick, Dakota, Katie, Sadie, Staci, Noah, Owen, and Cody had joined them as well. Jo, Anne Maria, Sierra, Eva, Lindsey, Tyler, and Ezekiel had done their best to stay out of the whole thing, though they had ultimately failed. And Courtney, Heather, Alejandro, and Scott had been joined by Justin, Lightning, Chis, and Chef in their attempt to either get Total Drama back or find some other way to stay in the spotlight.

And so the war had raged and in the end it consumed them all, save Dawn, who somehow managed to escape unscathed. But in the process she was forced the bear witness to the full scope and range of the darkness that dwells within each of us. For in their fight, the former contestants, those from all sides, resorted to any means necessary to win and that attitude destroyed them. Not all of them succumbed to the war, however. Some abandoned the fight, only to fall to some other evil or be swallowed alive by the very industry that had made them famous to begin with. But whether by drugs, murder, suicide, accident, or some other means the outcome was the same. All of them met their end in some untimely manner and Dawn was left to pick up the pieces when the smoke had finally cleared.

And so, here she sits, the last remnant of a once proud franchise, the final witness to the end of an era. She has kept record of all that transpired and she will share her story with any who ask, though it is little comfort to her anymore. For all that is left to her is bitterness and despair as she sits and recites, "Nobody knows the trouble I have seen. Nobody knows my sorrow."

**A/N: And that's the beginning of my new Total Drama project. Let me begin by reminding us all that Total Drama is not mine. It is the property of Teletoon, Inc. and its creators. I will continue to work on the Consultant series, as well as my other ideas, but I felt compelled to start on this sad tale now, while it was still fresh in my mind. This story is not connected in any way to the Consultant, other than that they share a common category in Total Drama. As stated on my profile, this was originally planned as a one shot, but will now consist of multiple chapters, each focusing on one or more of the other characters from the first five seasons of TD. This chapter acts as the prologue and the other chapters will explain exactly what happened to the other characters. I am sorry this is so short, by the way, but most of my prologues are, so there you go. Anyway, that's all I have for now, so I hope you enjoyed this brief introduction and I look forward to your feedback. Cheers, KT.**

**P.S. Please let me know if I've forgotten any major TD characters. I think I have them all, but sometimes I forget one or two.**


	2. Staci

As she sat alone in her padded cell Dawn found herself thinking, inexplicably, about one of the first people she'd met on Total Drama. That person was Staci Plummer, whom Dawn rarely thought about. Dawn had never been all that close to Staci, so it was a little strange that her recollections would begin with the compulsive liar. But Dawn had long since given up pretending that she had any control over the way the universe worked and chose to accept these memories for what they were.

She had first met Staci at Camp Wawanakwa at the start of Total Drama's fourth season, more commonly known as Revenge of the Island. Like the other TDRI contestants Dawn had found Staci's constant jabbering about the supposedly great things her ancestors had done to be rather annoying. As such she hadn't been overly upset when Staci had been the first one eliminated. But as time had gone on she had learned to deal with Staci's claims, even going so far as to believe some of them, if only to get Staci to shut up.

But, in the end, everything Staci had said turned out to be a lie. No one had been surprised by that, but Dawn had felt sorry for Staci and perhaps it was because of that sympathy that Staci had joined Dawn's side in the war. There were other explanations as well, of course, but Dawn liked to think that it had been her kindness that had swayed Staci and so many of the others. Still, she had to consider the possibilities, no matter how painful they were to examine.

Staci's life hadn't been easy before Total Drama and it had gotten even worse after the shows cancellation. She was overweight and obnoxious and she had known it, but it had been the betrayal of her fellow contestants that had sealed her fate. Dawn had seen that coming, of course, but she had been too late to stop it.

_Not that you really tried_, she thought, bitterly. _No, you just watched them do it when you should have stopped them. But you didn't, because you're a coward, a fucking weak, pathetic coward who was too afraid to stand up to assholes like Scott._

Dawn took a deep breath to calm herself and let her mind wander back to Staci. In truth there hadn't really been anything she could have done. Staci had made too many enemies and they were going to take her no matter what Dawn did. Still, she should have at least tried to help, but she hadn't and now it was too late.

"Too fucking late." she muttered, savagely punching the floor of her cell. "I was always too fucking late."

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. It was so hard to focus now, but she had to. She had to learn the truth, had to know where and why it had all gone so wrong. Staci's fate wasn't the key, she knew, but it was a place to start and that was something.

Staci had become a social pariah after the end of Total Drama. That was the real reason she had joined Dawn's side. Her constant jabbering had driven everyone else to the brink of insanity and her only solace, her only chance to keep them in her life had been backing Dawn. But she had become a product of the fame, a drunken, slobbering mess who was only in the way. Dawn had kept her around, though it had been painful to watch her tragic descent into madness, and ultimately that madness had been her undoing.

Staci had finally gotten on the bad side of the wrong people and Dawn had been powerless to stop what happened next. She had seen it coming for months, but Staci had refused to listen and without her cooperation Dawn had had no chance of saving her.

The end had come swiftly then, taking no one by surprise. Scott, Alejandro, and Lightning had come for Staci in the night, taking her without much effort or resistance. Dawn and B had found her the next morning, savagely beaten, hanging from a tree by her neck. And though she had been horrified, some part of Dawn had also been relieved.

_You were a liar and a drunk and you deserved this_, she had thought then. _You deserved this, but I could have saved you. I wanted to save you._

The memory of that day brought fresh tears to Dawn's eyes, but she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She did not want to cry, not anymore. But she couldn't help it, because the truth was Staci hadn't deserved to die like that. None of them had deserved it. Yet they had died and there was nothing Dawn could do about it now.

"If only they'd listened to me." she muttered, choking back more tears. "If only we'd all known then that Staci was only the first."

**A/N: And that's chapter 1. All of the chapters will be like this, though many of them will be about multiple characters (usually the couples). Also, just to clarify, yes, Dawn is in a mental hospital. You can probably guess why. This won't be a major point of emphasis, but it will crop up on occasion. Additionally, other chapters will delve deeper into what the characters lives were like in the wake of Total Drama's end and will reveal more on this "war" that happened. Staci's isn't as detailed because I felt like only giving a vague picture of what happened to her. Finally, just in case you're wondering, the chapters will be titled for the character about whom Dawn is reminiscing at that moment. Next up is Anne Maria.**


	3. Anne Maria

Thinking about Staci's demise made Dawn sad, but try as she may she couldn't keep the thoughts from her mind. And it was this inability to shut out the memories that led her to start thinking about the others she had lost.

The next set of memories that entered Dawn's mind were those connected to one Anne Maria Bertoli. As with Staci, Dawn had first met Anne Maria on the set of Revenge of the Island. And like Staci, Dawn hadn't been overly close with Anne Maria. If she was completely honest she had found Anne Maria to be rather annoying. She had found Anne Maria's near constant use of hair spray to be even more annoying than her Jersey Shore reject personality. The hair spray had been an annoyance to all the competitors on TDRI, but Dawn had found it particularly irritating as it had been damaging to the environment, something Dawn could never stand.

_Yet she kept using it, even when I explained that to her_, Dawn thought. _And yet, there was still something about Anne Maria that was endearing._

Dawn wasn't rightly certain what that something was however. Anne Maria had been no better than Heather, Alejandro, Lightning, Scott, and Courtney. She had been a selfish, arrogant, uncaring bitch, who cared more about her hair than anything else. But there was still something about her that made it hard for Dawn to completely hate her.

Anne Maria hadn't joined either side in the war, so it wasn't loyalty that was making Dawn remember her positive qualities. But she hadn't tried to hinder Dawn's efforts either, so perhaps it was that fact that was making Dawn remember her in a partially positive light. Either way, there was something good about Anne Maria and that's what Dawn had chosen to remember. That and how Anne Maria had met her ultimate end.

Anne Maria's life after Total Drama had been rather uneventful, though she had tried her damnedest to make something of herself. She had attempted to get multiple gigs as an actress, but all had fallen flat before she'd even had a chance to get started. She had even tried to start her own reality show, which had been a bit more successful, though it was ultimately canceled after only one season. These failures had turned Anne Maria into a bitter, lonely woman who was desperate for fame, but they hadn't been the cause of her downfall.

_No, that was your infatuation, wasn't it?_ Dawn thought. _You couldn't just let that go could you, even after I warned you what would happen if you didn't stop._

Anne Maria's infatuation, the ultimate cause of her demise, had been related to Vito. Vito, of course, was one of Mike's personalities, who came to the surface whenever Mike lost his shirt. Dawn knew that Mike had lost his personalities after Total Drama All-Stars, but they had returned several years later, to the surprise of everyone. Vito had been the first to return and his comeback had sent Anne Maria into crazed frenzy. Yet, at the time, no one had seen the danger that posed, no one but Dawn, who had done her best to stop Anne Maria from loving Vito.

"But I failed at that too." she muttered, suddenly angry. "I failed and because of that Anne Maria lost her life. She lost her life and it's my fault."

_It's not really your fault though, is it, _a voice asked at the back of her mind. _It's Anne Maria's fault. She didn't listen to you, none of them did. That's why they're all dead._

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Dawn screamed, shaking her head violently. "I could have saved them. I could have. I just didn't."

She took a deep breath then, trying to calm herself, trying to recapture the memories of Anne Maria. The voices in her head were partially right, but she refused to place the blame solely on those she'd lost. Part of the blame was hers and she would never let go of that belief as long as she was still alive to remember.

With that in mind she turned her attention back to her memories of Anne Maria, trying to recall exactly how Anne Maria had died. The memory was fuzzy, but she finally managed to find it amid the chaos that was now her mind. After Vito had resurfaced Anne Maria had become obsessed with claiming him, even though it was impossible to do so without ruining Mike's relationship with Zoey. Ultimately Anne Maria had come to realize this, which had led her to try and eliminate Zoey. Unfortunately, that attack had drawn Mike's wrath and when Anne Maria had returned to try and finish the job, Mike had shot her in the head, killing her instantly.

And so Anne Maria's life had ended, though her death had left a dark mark on Mike's soul that had eventually come back to haunt him. Dawn had been greatly saddened by that turn of events, though she had found herself thinking that, in some way, Anne Maria had deserved it. She had tried to kill Zoey and end a beautiful relationship, but she had done it for her own love, so Dawn was conflicted about how she truly felt.

"It doesn't matter now anyway." she muttered. "All that matters now is that they're all gone. They're all gone and all that's left is dust and memories."

She fell silent then, her gaze fixed on the floor of her cell, blank and distant as she drifted off to some other world where she was free of the pain she felt in this one.

**A/N: And that's Anne Maria's story, or at least what Dawn chose to remember of it. It's a bit strange, I know, but I thought it made sense, given the way Anne Maria reacted every time Vito appeared in TDRI. It's pretty clear how Anne Maria felt about Vito and I think that, given the chance, she'd do anything to try and be with him, including harming Zoey. I just wonder if Anne Maria truly understood that Vito was just one of Mike's personalities and not a separate person. By the way, Anne Maria was not the second to die, she was the eight (I changed this after I was reminded that nine is better associated with Trent. Whether that's a hint or not, well you;ll just have to wait and see). The chapters will be out of order in that regard, as they will follow the order in which Dawn remembers the others. That's all I've got for now. Hope you enjoyed. Oh and Zeke is up next. Cheers, KT. **


	4. Ezekiel

Dawn's life before Total Drama hadn't exactly been perfect and things hadn't really improved for her on the show. People had always found her connection to nature and her ability to read auras to be a bit strange. They just didn't understand her and because of that she was often excluded from the group. But Dawn had slowly come to realize that other people had it even worse than she did and it was they who needed to truly be supported.

One of those people was Ezekiel Almos, who had been associated with Total Drama since its inaugural season. Dawn had first met Zeke at the end of Revenge of the Island when she had returned to watch Cameron and Lightning compete as the final two. Zeke had been living in an abandoned mine on the island after becoming feral and was used as part of the final challenge. Dawn had known of Zeke prior to that meeting however, as she had seen him on the previous seasons of Total Drama, watching him struggle to find acceptance.

Unfortunately, Zeke never really succeeded to find what he sought and like Dawn he spent his life being shunned for being different. He had been the first camper eliminated from Total Drama Island and hadn't even made it to Total Drama Action. He had returned for Total Drama World Tour, but had been quickly booted from that season as well, which had led to his transformation into a feral wild-man. He appeared on both TDRI and All-Stars, but only as a sideshow who was mocked and feared by the competitors.

Dawn knew for a fact that Zeke's life before Total Drama hadn't been great either, and perhaps that was why she felt sympathy for him. Zeke had been raised on a farm and hadn't experienced much of modern life before auditioning for Total Drama. That life had been hard and it was because of his upbringing that he was so mistrusted and disliked by his fellow competitors. But Dawn had liked him, perhaps not as much as she'd liked B, but she'd liked him. And she had been drawn to help him, even when no one else would join her.

_It was because you deserved better_, she thought. _You deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. We both did. But we weren't. That's why I cared for you Zeke._

And care for him she had. After Total Drama had been canceled Dawn had, with help from B, gotten Zeke into treatment to try and rid him of his feral personality. Dawn had hoped that by doing so she could convince the others to see Zeke in a different light. And it had worked, somewhat. Zeke had been reformed and some of the others had warmed up to him, but many had remained skeptical, and Zeke had continued to be a pariah.

"IT WASN'T FAIR!" Dawn screamed then, violently punching the floor. "Why couldn't they just accept us? Zeke, B, me? Why was it so hard for them to just accept us?"

She had no answers, of course, but the question was still just as valid now as it had been twenty years earlier. If the others had just accepted them then maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe things would have been better. But Dawn would never know now. It was too late. Everyone else was gone and all she had were memories and pain.

She wondered then what Zeke would do in this situation. After he had regained his humanity Zeke had remained neutral in the war, though he had occasionally aided Dawn's cause. When he wasn't helping Dawn he operated a little shop that specialized in homemade goods and allowed him to use the skills he had learned growing up on a farm. But that endeavor had drawn the wrath of Scott, for reasons Dawn would never understand, and Zeke had had to deal with constant harassment from the red haired bully.

Thinking about that now made Dawn's blood boil. Scott had been the one who had gotten her eliminated from TDRI and to see him using the same manipulative techniques to pester Zeke had been more than she could stand.

But before she had been able to do anything to stop Scott, he had already made his move to take Zeke out. Dawn had arrived at Zeke's shop to find the poor boy laying in a pool of his own blood, his throat slashed by a large hunting knife. She had known exactly who was responsible, but all she had been able to think then was, _And now there are four_.

Now, she was filled with rage to think about the way Zeke's life had ended. Not that it would do her much good to be angry. Scott was dead as well and she was here in this padded cell, slowly losing her mind. But her mind wasn't completely gone yet and she vowed then that she would always remember Zeke for the good person he had been.

"No matter how much longer I live, I will remember you Zeke." she whispered, ever aware that her own end was drawing ever closer.

**A/N: And that's chapter 4. It's a sad chapter, but it really sums up the way both Zeke and Dawn were treated. Anyone whose watched the series knows that they were both viewed as weirdos. For different reason, maybe, but they shared that bond without a doubt. Also, in case you're wondering, yes, Scott will be responsible for the deaths of a number of the others for reasons that should be pretty obvious. And, in case you missed it, Zeke was the fourth to die. Finally, the next chapter will focus on two characters, Katie and Sadie. That's all for now. Cheers, KT.**


	5. Katie and Sadie

Love. Love was an emotion that Dawn had struggled with for many years, one she still wasn't completely certain she'd found herself. Love was also one of the predominant emotions on Total Drama, as the show had given rise to many couples, though not all of them had lasted very long. And of those couples, very few embodied true love more than the pairing of Katie Holt and Sadie Dawson.

Dawn had first become acquainted with Katie and Sadie through Total Drama Island, on which they had been contestants. Dawn, of course, hadn't competed until TDRI, but she'd watched the inaugural season of the show. And though it wouldn't be until sometime after TDRI that she'd actually meet Katie and Sadie in person, she'd always had a feeling about the true nature of their relationship.

Katie and Sadie had entered the insane world of Total Drama as best friends. There was no separating them and it had quickly become apparent to everyone else that these were two girls who would stop at nothing to ensure that they stayed together. Still it wasn't until several years later that Katie and Sadie themselves had finally realized that their friendship was actually a much deeper bond. And it was that realization that had led them to admit their love for one another.

Dawn, like many of the others, had been happy for Katie and Sadie. But unlike the others, she had foreseen the potential problems that Katie and Sadie's relationship could bring. She had tried to warn Katie and Sadie about those problems, but they hadn't listened, insisting that their love was stronger than any troubles they may encounter.

_But your love wasn't strong enough, was it?_ Dawn thought miserably. _You thought it was enough to protect you from the harsh realities of the world, but it wasn't. And it was that stubbornness that got you killed._

Again Dawn felt anger wash over her, red, heated rage unlike any she'd felt before. She'd thought Katie and Sadie would be different, that they'd listen to her warnings, but they hadn't. Love had blinded them to the truth and they had forsaken her just like all the others.

"Love." she muttered then, rolling her eyes in disgust. "What good is love when all it does is get people hurt and killed? Love is fucking useless. All it even brought me was pain."

She fell silent then, as though she was reflecting on her words, before screaming, "IT'S USELESS I TELL YOU! COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKING USELESS!"

She fell silent again, her chest heaving with short, rapid breaths. And then she let the calm wash over her again, her body and spirit sinking back into a state of relaxation.

"I'm sorry." she muttered then. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have exploded like that. But you know I'm right, don't you? Love only brought us all pain, there's no way to deny it."

Dawn knew her feelings were true, but she still found herself thinking back on Katie and Sadie's love. Their bond had been so strong, so passionate, that Dawn had often wondered if her theories on love were wrong. But fate had ultimately taught her that her theories were always correct, for in the end, love had indeed brought only pain and suffering.

Katie and Sadie, unfortunately, hadn't seen that until it was too late. Their relationship had gone smoothly in the first few years after Total Drama had ended. They had gotten married, taken their relationship public, and become outspoken advocates of gay rights. They had even adopted a baby girl, whom they raised with kindness and affection.

But there were some people who still didn't like the way Katie and Sadie lived their lives. Some people still saw their lifestyle as immoral and evil, and it was that narrow minded view of the world that had cost them both their lives. Four years after Total Drama was canceled Sadie was attacked by several anti-gay protesters, who had beaten her severely. She had survived the initial attack, but died in the hospital two days later from her injuries.

Sadie's death had sent people into an uproar, and the entirety of the Total Drama cast had turned out for her funeral (one of the few times they all stood united). Dawn had been shocked by the violence and had been disgusted to learn that even in this progressive age there were still people who couldn't let go of their hatred.

Sadie's death had had an even more profound effect on Katie, who became reclusive and depressed in the aftermath of her lover's murder. Many of the others, including Dawn, had tried to help Katie cope, but she had turned them all away. Finally, a little more than a month after Sadie's death, Dawn, B, and Brick had found Katie hanging from the chandelier in the dining room of the house she and Sadie had shared. That sight would be forever burned into Dawn's mind and even now the horror of seeing Katie's limp, lifeless body hanging from that rope felt fresh and terrible.

Dawn had given up on trying to justify love after that and she never learned what became of the daughter Katie and Sadie had adopted. She supposed someone else had adopted the poor girl after that, but she couldn't be certain.

"It doesn't matter now anyway." she muttered. "The girl is gone, just like her mothers. Love took them away. It was love that killed them, just like I always said it would."

**A/N: And that's chapter 5. I know it's dark, but this whole story is dark, so that shouldn't come as a shock. I want to make one thing clear right away. The decision to make Katie and Sadie lesbians was motivated by two things. First, I've always thought they could potentially be lovers and I used that to my advantage in this story. Second, the fact that their sexual orientation is what got them killed is a reflection of historical attitudes towards the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. However, it is IN NO WAY a reflection of my personal attitude towards the LGBT community. I support the rights of the members of this community and simply presented a realistic portrayal of how some people act towards the LGBT community. So, in light of that, I would greatly appreciate it if no one left reviews accusing me of being a homophobe. Also, the gathering for Sadie's funeral was minus Staci, who would already have been dead at that point, meaning Sadie is the second to die and Katie is the third. Finally, I've had a request to do Cameron next, so he'll be the focus of the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed. Cheers. KT.**


	6. Cameron

How does one live life when one cannot interact with the world around them? It was a question that Dawn had pondered for many years, though she had never really understood its deeper meaning until she met Cameron Wilkins. Like Dawn, Cameron had been a contestant on Revenge of the Island and the two had gotten along quite well. Dawn had recognized the purity of Cameron's spirit immediately, though she hadn't mentioned that to him at the time. They had been on different teams during the competition and Dawn had been eliminated before she'd had a chance to tell Cameron about the color of his aura. She had failed again to tell him when she returned for the finale, which Cameron ultimately won, making himself an eternal enemy of Lightning in the process.

It would be, in part, that hatred that would lead to Cameron's demise, but Dawn wasn't ready to confront that just yet. First she needed to examine her memories of Cameron a bit closer, to see if he'd ever had any clue that she'd known what it was like to be him all along.

Before competing on TDRI Cameron had spent his entire life in a bubble. His mother had considered the world too dangerous for him and the bubble had been for his protection, but it had also kept him from directly interacting with the world. As such, Cameron had greeted TDRI with a sense of wild eyed wonder that many of his fellow contestants simply hadn't shared. But Dawn had, to an extent, and she had accepted him for who he was.

_You weren't like the others Cameron_, she thought. _You were better. You were everything people like Scott weren't. You and B. You and B were the only ones who truly understood._

It was true too, at least partially. Cameron and B had been the only members of the TDRI cast that had truly understood her. Zoey had, to a degree, and Bridgette, Gwen, Trent, Zeke, and Noah from the original cast. But none of them had understood her like Cameron and B had, and that made their loss all the more painful to bear. It had been the loss of Cameron and B that had truly broken her and Dawn still shuddered whenever she thought about how they both had died.

"It wasn't fair." she muttered, shaking her head. "It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't FUCKING FAIR! Why did they have to treat you like that? Just like Zeke. All you ever did was be kind and they treated you like shit."

She fell silent then, hot tears stinging her eyes. All her life she had been an outcast, constantly aware of the torments that others had planned for her. But now she found that her pain had been nothing compared to that of people like Cameron, Zeke, and B.

"Your auras were pure." she whispered, choking back a sob. "Your auras were pure and white and beautiful. And yet it was their black, tainted auras that persisted. And for that, I am sorry. I saw, I knew, but I didn't say. I didn't warn you in time to save you."

And it was true. All of it was true. She had known, but she hadn't warned them in time. And now they were gone, Cameron among them, all of them not but ashes and dust slowly fading from her hands and her mind.

After Total Drama had ended, Cameron had used his new found freedom to explore the world. Even after that trials and tribulations he had faced on TDRI and TDAS he still greeted the world with that child like wonder. Nothing had seemed to phase him or deter him and he had forged ahead into the world without so much as a second thought to what he was leaving behind. At least that had been how it had seemed.

Dawn had known differently though. She had seen the pain in Cameron's soul, but he had insisted that it was nothing. He had insisted that the resentment of Lightning and Scott was nothing but an obstacle to overcome. And in some ways he had been right, but Dawn had known that eventually the poison of their resentment would catch up with Cameron no matter how hard or fast or far he ran.

And catch up with him that poison had. When Cameron had least expected it the poison had found him and he had succumbed to its deadly effects. Neither Lightning, nor Scott had been directly involved with Cameron's demise, but the cumulative effects of their years of torment finally drove Cameron to do the unthinkable.

Dawn could still vividly remember her reaction to the news. Cameron had been found unresponsive in his apartment by Brick and Jo, who had quickly called the cops. Police and paramedics had arrived on the scene within minutes and Cameron had been rushed to the hospital, where he was temporarily stabilized. But the amount of drugs in his system had been too much to overcome and he had died an hour after being admitted.

No one had known why he'd overdosed at first and then the note had been found. In it, Cameron had listed all the things that had been done to him and light was shed on why he had taken his own life. Ultimately it had been Lightning's bitterness at losing TDRI and his constant attempts to bully Cameron into submission as punishment that had convinced Cameron to end it all. Scott had played a role as well, but Cameron had been vague as to what that role actually was.

Dawn had raged against both of them in the wake of Cameron's death and she hadn't been alone. B, Gwen, Bridgette, Brick, Jo, Trent, and others had been just as furious, but all their rage was for naught. Lightning and Scott were never punished for Cameron's death and Dawn had ultimately given up on trying to get the law to do the job, trusting that karma would eventually come around and bite them in the ass.

"And it did." she whispered then. "It did Cameron. They got what was coming to them. We all did. All except me and I expect that won't last much longer either."

She fell silent then, her memories still fixed on Cameron. _Cameron. Sweet, innocent Cameron_, she thought. _You were one of a kind and I will always miss you. May whatever world you now inhabit be better than the one you left behind._ And in that moment she realized that he had never known that she had known and that realization made her even more sad than she had been before.

**A/N: And that's chapter 6. I don't really have much to say about this one, other than the relationship between Dawn and Cameron was purely one of friendship. Also, I know Dawn mentions the color of B's aura in the show (which I forget by the way) but I thought I'd go with white for all the people she considers pure. Also, Cameron was the 17th to die. Finally, the next chapter will focus on Geoff and Bridgette. Hope you enjoyed. Cheers, KT.**


	7. Geoff and Bridgette

What is life without a little excitement? This was another of the many questions Dawn had pondered over the course of her life. And like the question she'd asked about how a person lives life when they cannot interact with the world around them, it was a question she hadn't really understood until she met her fellow Total Drama alumni.

In this case it had been Geoff Martin and Bridgette Wells who had helped enlighten her and Dawn had been more than grateful for their insight. Geoff and Bridgette had been more involved in the success of Total Drama than almost anyone else. They had been competitors on the first two seasons of the show and had launched the highly successful and wildly popular Aftermath show following their elimination from TDA. Bridgette had also competed on TDWT, though Geoff failed to make the cut. Dawn had first seen them on TDI and she had immediately decided that Bridgette was a person she could get along with. She hadn't been as certain about Geoff until they'd actually met, but her connection with Bridgette had been almost instantaneous, despite the fact that it occurred more than three years before they actually met.

There was, of course, a rather simple reason why Dawn connected with Bridgette so well. They shared a similar laid back, relaxed personality and both viewed kindness and compassion as key attributes in a person's life. In addition to that, they were both strong lovers and defenders of nature and the natural world, a trait they both shared with D.J. as well. Geoff had been just as laid back and mellow and Dawn had ultimately seen that, accepting that he was a part of Bridgette that could not be separated.

Of course, there had been differences between Dawn and Bridgette as well. Most notably was Bridgette's willingness to take risks that Dawn simply found too dangerous to attempt. But it was that willingness to take risks and have fun that allowed Bridgette and Geoff to help Dawn understand what a life with a little excitement really was. And through that, Dawn had found the answer to another of the questions that had plagued her.

"I thank you both for that." she whispered, blinking back tears as she spoke. "But I still wonder if there was a possibility that you could have shown me the answer without putting yourselves at such risk."

That, unfortunately, was a question to which Dawn would never know the answer, though she had her suspicions about it. Still, the fact remained that Geoff and Bridgette's lifestyles had not been conducive to a long life. Dawn had tried to help them see that, tried to help them tone it down a bit, but they had shrugged her concerns off, Geoff claiming that the only way to truly experience life was to live it to the fullest every day.

_But that was the dangerous path_, Dawn thought then. _That was the path that you ultimately walked to your end._

It hadn't always been set that way though, Dawn knew. There had been a time when Geoff and Bridgette may have walked a different path. They had become immensely successful a popular on Total Drama and had translated that success into even more after Total Drama had ended. Bridgette had returned to her other great love of surfing and had gone on to become an internationally successful surfer. Geoff, on the other hand, had gone on to open and mange several successful clubs so that the party he loved so much would never end. And they had both used that success to bolster Dawn's push to keep Total Drama from returning to the air.

_But everything changed when Bridgette had her accident_, Dawn thought sadly.

The accident Dawn was thinking of had occurred while Bridgette had been surfing for fun one morning and had shattered everything Bridgette and Geoff had built. Bridgette had been riding a massive wave when she lost her balance and crashed. The force of the wave slammed her into a pile of rocks hidden beneath the water and the impact had severely injured her spine. Geoff had pulled Bridgette from the water before she drowned, but she had spent the next month in the hospital and remained paralyzed from the waist down from there on out.

The loss of her ability to surf had killed a part of Bridgette's soul and nothing Geoff, Dawn, or anyone else could say or do would heal that wound. Bridgette became reclusive after her accident, only occasionally interacting with anyone other than Geoff. And on the rare occasion that she did come out she was moody and sullen, often insisting that it hadn't been her desire for excitement that had left her in this broken state.

Dawn could see that Bridgette was just putting on a brave face, but she had never had the courage to say so. And that, she knew, had been another of her great failures. For if she had just talked to Bridgette, maybe she could have convinced Bridgette to get the help she so desperately needed. But Dawn had remained silent and that silence had ultimately led to Bridgette's death.

A year or so after Bridgette's accident she began suffering from severe headaches. At first she had just shrugged them off, thinking they were just migraines. But then came the big one, the one that had left Bridgette blinded with pain and reeling in her wheelchair. Geoff had found her semi-conscious and rushed her to the hospital, where she'd died an hour later from a blood clot in her brain. The clot had formed in one of her dead legs sometime after the accident and had traveled to her brain, where it had become lodged in one of the small blood vessels, causing the pain and leading to her death. Dawn had known then that even if she had gotten Bridgette to accept help, it wouldn't have mattered, but she still blamed herself anyway.

"My fault." she muttered then. "My fault, all my fault, just like it was with the others." She sighed and wiped tears away from her eyes, wishing she had done more.

Geoff had lost it after Bridgette's death and quickly became a hard partying alcoholic in an attempt to deal with the pain. During that time the megalomania he had exhibited during the TDA Aftermath show returned and he began to alienate his friends. And in the end, it was his love of excitement that did him in as well.

Three months after Bridgette's death, Geoff was found in the back room of one of his clubs, a bottle of alcohol on the floor beside him. He had been dead for several hours and his death was ultimately ruled accidental, though there were some, Dawn included, who wondered if he'd finally given in to the pain and ended it all so he could be with Bridgette again.

"We'll never know now." Dawn muttered, still fighting back tears. "We'll never know anything, except that it was excitement that killed them both."

She fell silent then, thinking, before bursting out laughing as a thought occurred to her. _At least they died from what they loved_, she thought. _If only the same could be said for the rest of us. _And then she rolled over and crawled to the back of her cell, wondering if she would get the chance to die doing what she loved.

**A/N: And that's chapter 7. I meant to have this up last Friday, but I was battling writers block on this one. Oh writers block, that damnable, cursed affliction that is the bane of us all, am I right? Anyway, that's how Geoff and Bridgette met their untimely ends (they were the 18th and 19th to die, by the way). And that's really all I have to say on this one, except to add that Sam and Dakota will be next. No one had any more requests, so I just chose a pair at random. However, if there is anyone you want me to focus on after Sam and Dakota just let me know and I'll see what I can do (everyone is open, other than those I've already done and B, who will be featured last). Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Cheers, KT.**


	8. Sam and Dakota

Freak. Weirdo. Loser. Unnatural abomination. These were just some of the many unpleasant terms that had been used by others to describe Dawn over the course of her life. People had always seen her as different and they hadn't, for the most part, been shy about sharing their thoughts with her. But that had started to change after her one season on Total Drama. People, especially many of the other Total Drama contestants, had finally started to see Dawn as a person and she couldn't have been happier about it. And yet, she still wondered to this day why that change had occurred. Why had people suddenly started to accept her when they had shunned her for so long?

Dawn had never really found an answer to that question, but perhaps it had something to do with her fellow Total Drama castmates. Many of them, including Zeke, Cameron, Gwen, Staci, Beth, Mike, and B had been shunned or hated simply for being a little different. So maybe it was their influence that had helped Dawn overcome the labels that had plagued her all her life. Maybe it was the sense of kinship they had all found in one another that had helped them all overcome those who sought to keep them down.

That was as good an explanation as any, Dawn supposed, but it was two specific individuals whom she thought of now. Like so many of the others, these two had felt the pain of being cast aside at some point in their lives and they too had overcome that pain, at least temporarily. Those two individuals were Sam Doren and Dakota Milton, and they, more than almost anyone else, had understood what it was like to be considered a freak.

Dawn had met Sam and Dakota on TDRI and at first she hadn't suspected either of them of being people who would one day understand her. Sam was a nerd obsessed with video games and he payed little attention to anything that wasn't on the screen of his hand-held game consul. Dakota on the other hand was obsessed with fame and recognition and was always doing whatever she could to get more of both. Neither of them had seemed like the kind of people who would notice a shy, quite, aura reading girl like Dawn. If only she had known then how wrong she was.

"You were both so much more than what you first appeared to be." Dawn whispered. "I didn't see it then, but I wonder now, would it have changed anything if I had?"

Only silence greeted the question, and for a moment Dawn felt smaller than she ever had before. But the feeling passed quickly and she turned her attention back to her memories of Sam and Dakota. Like her, they had both been eliminated early on on the competition, though Dakota had found her way back in for a few more episodes. And it had been that extra bit of exposure that had ultimately gotten Dakota the harsh treatment she had endured.

That treatment had been a shock to her, but it hadn't been warranted. Dakota had done nothing to deserve the treatment she received, but that hadn't stopped people from flinging the insults at her anyway. What none of them had known at the time they came to Camp Wawanakwa was that the island was full of toxic waste that Chris had left behind. And it was exposure to that waste that had turned Dakota into a mutant monstrosity called Dakotazoid.

Sam, who had fallen for Dakota before her transformation, became even more enthralled with her afterward, but Dakota herself had been horrified by her new appearance. She had done everything she could think of to revert back to her original form, but nothing had worked and she had become a source of public fascination and scorn. Some people had seen Dakotazoid as a potential moneymaker, a freak who could be cast in roles in monster movies and the like. Others had simply seen her as a curiosity, something to be studied and examined. And still others had seen her as a menace, a threat to public safety, a monster that could not be controlled. Through it all, Sam remained loyal to her, and that, coupled with his endless love of video games and his nerdy nature made him a target as well, though he was only laughed at, not stared at and pondered the way Dakota was.

_It wasn't fair_, Dawn thought, saddened by her memories. _It wasn't fair for either of you to have to endure that shit. But you did and I wasn't able to stop it. I wasn't able to find a way to shelter you both from the prying eyes that just wanted to see the so called "monster."_

In truth there hadn't been anything Dawn could have done, but she still blamed herself, just as she did with all of the former Total Drama contestants. And yet Dawn knew it wasn't her fault and things had gotten better for Sam and Dakota, at least for a little while, so there was not reason for her to blame herself. But she did and she would never stop, no matter what anyone else said.

Still, there had been a brief time when Sam and Dakota had manged to rid themselves of the harassment and the torment. Several years after Total Drama had ended they were approached by a pair of doctors who claimed to have a cure for Dakota's mutation. Driven by desperation, they had accepted the treatment and it had worked. Dakota reverted back to her human form and all had seemed to work out for the best. But the doctors insisted that there was still more to be done and they had taken Dakota in for more tests and experiments to determine what it was that had mutated her in the first place. Dakota had endured the tests with little resistance, but it quickly became apparent that the tests were not good for her health. She began to experience a variety of alarming symptoms and finally went into a state of permanent shock, her body slowly breaking down from the strain of the tests and the chemicals that were still in her system.

In a last ditch effort to save her, Sam convinced the doctors to try and mutate her again, with the hope that her Dakotazoid form could handle the strain. The doctors agreed and for a moment it had seemed to work. Dakota had regained consciousness and slowly came back to life, but it was not to be. A week after being turned back into Dakotazoid, Dakota's recovery suddenly stopped and she began suffering from the same symptoms she had experienced after being cured of the mutation. And within a few hours of showing symptoms she had gone into full on cardiac arrest, ultimately succumbing to the chemical spawned disease that had spread through her body.

That sight, Dakota's lifeless, half mutated body lying cold on a slab in some laboratory was one Dawn would never forget, just as she would never forget the look of pain and anguish on Sam's face at the moment of Dakota's passing. Sam had left the room shortly thereafter, unable to deal with the pain. A day later he threw himself from the roof of the hotel where he had been staying during Dakota's ordeal, dying a little more than twenty four hours after she had. At their joint funeral it was claimed that they had died from sickness and grief, but Dawn knew better.

_They died because they were freaks_, she thought. _They died because the world wasn't able to accept them for who they were. They died because they wanted to be accepted by a world that will never accept those who are different._

She slumped back against the wall of her cell then, exhausted by the weight of her memories. It was so hard for her to keep thinking about the people she had cared about, but if she didn't, no one would. And so she turned her attention to the next memory that floated into her mind, hoping that her friends were all in a better place, especially the ones the world had considered freaks.

**A/N: And that's chapter 8. Sam and Dakota met their demise because of the same reasons as Zeke and Cameron. It's a horrible thing, I know, but that, unfortunately, is too often the reality of the world. And if there's one thing I want to portray more than anything else with this fic, it's the harsh realities of the world. So, that's the reasoning behind that. Sam and Dakota were 6th and 7th to die, respectively, coming right before Anne Maria. Finally, the next chapter will focus on Justin, followed by Lindsey and Tyler, Noah, and Harold and LeShawna. Hope you enjoyed. Cheers, KT.**


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